He keeps apologizing for not being able to get hard when he's drunk. We havent even left the club yet.
I wiped a tear off her cheek with my boner. It cheered her up
there were at least 5 of us standing around the bathroom stall cheering you on to throw up.
She literally called herself a shamefully bad decision. Of course I slept with her. Best bad decision ever
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when she first told me she hooked up with him my initial response was to shout "WE HAVE SOMETHING IN COMMON!"
Going to the market. I need some nachos and a serious re-evalution of my life.
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
you better take a shot tonight for every cat you have ever seen and wanted. this is a lot of cats.
Last thing I remember was wondering why there was a mirror on the wall behind the urinal and then realizing I was pissing in the sink.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeahhh, everybody is so helpful when a pretty girl is crying hysterically and has only one shoe and a six pack.
'lets look at pictures of your friend's new baby' was probably the worst post-sex idea we've ever had
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Are you feeling better yet?
I need a nap and a new butthole
Just got a handjob in the hospital
A new low.
I knew I no longer wanted to bone him when he put the Grease soundtrack on as "mood music", no guy looks attractive singing and dancing to greased lightning naked.
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