dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
just heard some guy walking down the street say "butt sex in the sun"
go get him tiger.
i saw a stretcher and literally ran around for 10 minutes telling people it wasnt for me
he even offered to make my bed in the morning.
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
Last thing I remember is Dusty riding the bikes we "borrowed" from the hotel through the CVS while the rest of us picked up the girls who were laughing at him
Dude, I need a lifestyle change. I'm to old to be making out with chicks in foam parties, letting older chicks get all excited because I let them put their hands up my shirt, and running around doing scavenger hunts with 18 yr old chicks.
Wanna smoke some ancient weed I just found in a box of cake mix?
It is super hard to find a good vegan dominatrix! THAT'S why I'm single
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
I just got a lap dance from a kid in the coconut bra... So not drunk enough for this.
Some guy named spider just bought me 5 shots
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just threw up on the way to class. Legit, on the sidewalk by psych building.
THAT WAS YOU? Psych prof just pointed out the window and said "that kids, is why you don't pregame before class"
I'm going to blackout. I realize this
Randomize
