I need like a "Cookong High for Idiots" book. Or a car.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
If relationships were based on ego stroking and meaningless sex, we'd be soulmates
So she is eating her margarita with tortilla chips....like using her chip as a spoon
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Like if there was an award for best way to take a girls virginity, he would get a standing ovation. And first prize. Probably a bunch of roses too. That good.
Not sure if it is a new high or new low, but i left a basket on the porch of the sorority I woke up at. It had a description of the Minnie Mouse I woke up next to, and Plan B.
I made her a sippy cup with eggnog and whiskey. My meditation app told me to go the extra mile for someone today, so I did.
I needed to do something spontaneous, and since no one had coke this was the next best thing.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
I would be down to associate sex w taco bell
she threw up on her exam, awkwardly wiped it off with her sleeve and continued writing.
Dude. why do I feel like I am cheating on you every time I do shrooms?
I can appreciate that you picked up the hot drummer, but don’t have sex in front of my house lmao
Woke up with a throbbing vagina and a lesbian in my bed. Then for the hell of it we had morning sex. Definitley bisexual now
Randomize
