TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
He played with my vagina like it was a turntable
threw up in my backpack again. Asian guy I cheat from wasn't pleased.
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i just realized why god gave us younger siblings....to DD for us when we come home for the summers
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
but i'm paying and its not a date cause he's got a gf and i'm hooking up with his roommate tomorrow night
In order to see him, he made me facetime with his penis, which he had drawn a smile face on. Getting laid shouldn't be this difficult.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
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I mean, with your nipple problem im surprised. #hangacoatonem
I don't remember, but I believe your goodnight phrase was "nice meeting you, thanks for not macing me"
They're magnificent. It's like god made her last but hadn't fulfilled his boob quota.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Had an orgasm and got a charley horse at the same time. It was a multi-purpose scream.
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.