i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
ohhh no, absolutely not. i am waaayyy too superstitious to have sex with the self-proclaimed "baby-maker" on father's day...
It's like God was speaking to me through a penis.
You were rubbing sand all over yourself and everyone else and claiming you were "EXFOLIATING."
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
I just realized the only way to play Edward forty-hands is commando in a skirt. This intelligence kick is really doing me justice.
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
And suddenly....Tubas. Tubas everywhere.
That's one good thing about being an only child. I can masturbate wherever the fuck I want
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?