2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
I went with the blow up doll and I'm glad I did.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
Nope. She just screamed at me "YOU WERE A FAILED ABORTION" and "I'LL PUT ANTHRAX IN YOUR PILLOW YOU LITTLE FUCK". Best mother award ever
25 Facts Men Don’t Know About Women Until They Live Together
Feels weird sitting between two guys who've had their heads between my legs in a 24 hour span.
i almost burnt down an apartment complex. little busy, get back to you later
Let's cut to the chase. What days are we sleeping together this week?
It's not slutty if it's for workout purposes...right?
Underwear, t-shirt, bottle of Pinot Grigio and Golden Girls. I've hit a new level of homosexual.
These 19 People Imagine Others When Banging Their SO
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
Power went out. She lit a candle and gave me head. Made some pretty impressive candlelight cocksucking shadowpuppets. Must be what porn was like in olden times.
the fact that you have a guy named the "i want you to tie me up and fuck me" guy speaks volumes about your life.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
I'm sure the lady doing my pedicure could smell the sex on me.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?