just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
Someone played tic tac toe on my abs?
yeah, we figured out that passing a joint between cars was a pretty bad idea
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
She's trying to figure out what kind of dinosaur I am... Yay codeine.
the night ended with taco bell and tears
Her facebook status said "just got a sign from god". I texted her and apparently she found a slice of pizza in the shower.
You almost married that.
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
I'm already too high to be publicly presentable. I just looked at myself in the mirror without my sunglasses. Debated contacts. Said aloud "But I'm nothing without my sunglasses."
OUR DIABOLICAL SLUT PLAN HATH COMMENCED!
Not even official and he's cleaned my puke twice. His hotdog skills are an added bonus. I've got a keeper
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
I woke up with "To whom it may concern" sharpied on my dick
The man sent me a video of him doing the helicopter, the least I can do is go visit him in the hospital
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
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