oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
i dont know what it was but it was definately NOT a vagina
This soccer player girl is eating this banana WAY to slow. Too early for penis shaped foods.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
Man, the last time I saw you you were giving me a thumbs up while being pulled out the bar by your belt from some girl.
dude there's no way we're going back in there for your puke shoes
He told me to fuck off at some point in the night. I think it was right before he jumped out of a moving car trying to get to another bar and made Abby cry.
You know he really cares when he gives you one of those on-the-go toothbrushes for your walk of shame before running to work
someone needs to name a hurricane after you
I woke up this morning with 3 phone numbers, a red Chinese New Year envelope with cash in it, and a winning scratcher all stuffed in my bra. I'd say it was a pretty successful Thursday night.
He came over apologized for his lack of sexual skills. Cleaned my kitchen cooked me dinner. And gave me another one minute stand. I think im okay with this
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
Plus my dignity needs a night alone with me.... Oh that's right. I lost it last night
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
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