sometime during the course of last night, i decided to get donuts for this morning. i'm a fucking genius when i smoke.
Sorry about teling your dad i'd have sex with him last night in front of your mom while i was drunk
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
do you remember wearing her cheetah rainboots and making bacon shirtless?
Would you like to blur the lines between friendship and lesbianism tonight?
So they discontinued the hummer... Now people will have to go door to door to let others know they're assholes
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
i don't care how ready and willing she is. she is where penises go to die
Don't be offended. I can't even stand sleeping next to my dildo after I'm done, let alone a whole person.
he made a bald eagle out of coke lines
Itll be like a collage of penis. And not that abstract, one penis in a big painting contemporary shit. Collage....
Awwww breaks my heart, I just wanna fix his teeth and give him a blowjob.
when i saw him today i think my vagina did the equivalent of a stomach growl... its been to long
At some point you said you just wanted to get laid, so we had a moment of silence for your dead sex life...
Did I tell you I drunk fucked my one roommate last week
Uh no
Randomize
