Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
So as she is about to take the walk of shame she flips out. Apparently someone left a brown present in her shoes.
He's the biggest piece of shit to ever exist. He's not even wearing shoes.
I wish the holidays was like a drive thru. Get in. Get your presents. Get out.
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
I've heard awesome things about their margaritas. I also may buy a mustache from party city. Would you do me with a mustache on??! Hahahaha. But, really.
Happy meals everywhere. I think Ronald McDonald Claus visited.
I don't know what happened this summer, I've lost my sense of morality. All I do now is work, get drunk, and have sex near national landmarks.
Still drunk on my morning "run" which has turned into a walk. Just burped fireball
Currently on my Sunday walk of shame. Should I go to church?
My husband just came over to kiss me and said, "careful, I got a block of cream cheese in my pocket"
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Sometimes being bisexual is a curse. Turns out I banged both of her older twin brothers last summer.
But I put cranberries and apples in my wine so it's festive drinking not suicidal drinking
Please come pick up your twin. She's tap dancing in her underwear and that's not how you want yourself represented.
Randomize
