you looked like a weeble wobble. everytime we thought you were going to fall you bounced back up...you're an amazing drunk
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I think I just sat on my labia. Can I borrow some scotch tape?
Class is significantly more awkward when you know that your teacher knows what you look like with your legs behind your head... Just saying.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sometimes I think that I have too much self esteem
Then I realize that I'm just really fucking pretty.
apparently there was a flour fight and couch sex...
I think i blacked out...but i remember licking your teeth
Doing laundry, just found a knob off your stove in my pants pocket. I don't know.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
Your friends turned off our power in the basement and when we went to turn it back on I got sprayed in the face with a fire extinguisher. FYI.
I made it with a guy dressed as Mitt Romney. I told him "you can't have my vote, but you can have my body"
I need vitamin water and Jesus :/
I found Erin. She's getting a back massage from the coat check boy and drinking all his whiskey.
I got all the way to work before I realized there were Trojans in my bra.
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