I think she heard me call her a fat skank. But she was to be fair.
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
he gave me an orgasm. multiple times. the weird stuff he did in middle school is now irrelevant.
So chef boyardee smells exactly the same after you throw it up
i literally discovered the exact same thing last week. i had the lasagna one
ravioli
He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
every single kid we've ever known, every single person we've gotten blow jobs from, every single person we've hit home runs with... is at dennys right now
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
We just started the day with vitamin bombs. Daily vitamin + whatever's left in your glass from last night = feel like a champion
I just can't deal with that sentence
Yo plow her in the living room were all outside tommy wants to see
i was completely deserted.. so i stood outside starbucks for 20 minutes trying to convince the employees to open early and take care of me.. fuck you guys
When you put the phrases "just out of shower" and "did you get the picture" that close together, a picture of hamburger helper is not exactly what I expected to pop up.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
It's only ok to pee out the window in the afternoon when you're drunk.
Randomize
