Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
The boys in front of me put beer, red plastic cups, ping pong balls, lighterfluid, and twelve packs of pantyhose on the conveyor belt. Whatever drinking game they're playing, I want a part in.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
so now that i'm sober i just want to apologize for violating your back seat...... on a brighter note thank you for playing the little mermaid song "kiss the girl," really set the mood.
getting a black eye the first day of spring break really sets the tone for the rest of the week.
We found you on the floor drooling you kept saying over and over how you were double jointed.
He's cheating on his wife, and he's judging me for eating McDonalds
Come back. She's looking through naked pics of his exes on his phone and questioning him about them and I'm too drunk to walk away.
Mixing coffee with vodka may have been a bad choice, I feel like I'm pregnant and the baby is trying to perform a c-section from the inside.
I just found (and ate) a chunk of a reese's that fell between my boobs. Problem is that I finished those off 3 days ago in a drunk induced sob session... Has it really been that long since I changed my clothes?!
It smells like grilled cheese and sexual frustration
He totally fucked me in his Chewbacca socks
come pick your gf up from my house. she's sitting in the fridge and hissing at the cat to let her eat the potatoes. btw i dont have a cat
I got home and he was wearing a suit. He said he reason was because it was shirt and tie Saturday and that he won't change until midnight. He then proceeded to answer the door in a British accent.
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