I wasn't excited about it either, but if I was going to have her take a load on her face, role playing as some french dude is the least I could do
Just witnessed a fat girl fall off the treadmill, pop a medicine ball, and drink coke out of a water bottle all in one workout.
And for your info. Don't pee outside with glow sticks. People will still see you.
she chased the tour bus screaming I BET YOUR DICK IS THE SIZE OF YOUR MICROPHONE STAND. i think its safe to say were never getting vip passes again.
Swear to god this chicks brother got let out of jail for the weekend for the sole purpose of cock blocking me
Neighbor who got arrested at 3am just said he'd split the $ with me if I testify as the witness in his police brutality trial. He was also holding a baby and a case of beer.
Hey to make you feel better about last night, I just shit my pants.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Besides the kids on acid... I was the highest kid there
All I know is I want him to tie me up at least twice a week and I have an overwhelming urge to cook for him. Could this be love? I'm so confused....
How was that my fault?! I made you breakfast and gave you cake, as you asked. Then, you initiated sexual activity.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
Just had an oven catch fire while I was balls deep. Fire department came, I did not.
I just had drunken sex with an eagle scout behind the boy scouts of america building. what has my life come to?!
He was eating me out on a samsung washing machine and as soon as I came, I heard the "end of cycle" song. That tune will now always remind me of the screaming, multiple orgasms I recieved tonight!
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