Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
girl you didnt miss much. except me passing out for 3 hours AT JOBBIE NOONER on some random's boat. i was topless, then completely naked. heard girls were throwing ice cubes at me. i was useless. remember nothing.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
Doing lines of coke with a $100 dollar bill off a 6in x 9in photo of your childhood self really tells you where you where you've gotten in life.
he went at my nipples like a starved dog.
I figure a girl that drinks as much as I do should always have pregnancy tests on hand
Get in your clown car, pick up everyone you know, and head to the park. drunk Sledding grand prix tonight. winner takes home the leftover beer
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
I made out with a mom and her daughter and got a black eye, so yeah, my birthday went well
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
One day he'll find out I do drugs and stop talking to me.
What will you do then?
Drugs, probably.
Why did my mother make you get naked?
Not to be hella graphic on main but I just came so hard I think I saw a new color.
Randomize
