I seriously love my fucking boobs. They are so boobs.
I wish you were here to vomit in your hand.
Just tried to put my sweatpants on backwards...the chances of passing my physics exam just went down about 100%.
Why is there 6 cases of kwic trip dounuts dumped in my bed? Best 34 dollar wake up of my life
The dentist told me I have super glue on my teeth. I'm not blaming you I just want to know how that happened
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
Wow. A quad shot of peppermint schnapps. I feel like I just deep throated a candy cane. Best 21st ever.
Well... first you killed the girls goldfish, then you shoved her face in your armpit, made her cry, got kicked out, ate your cigarettes, and passed out in her driveway. Pretty successful night if you ask me
That would warm my breasts.
In this context breast is a metaphor for soul.
Cassie is wearing a baseball cap. This rebound is going nowhere
I'm glad the semester is over. I need a break from the term "whiskey sharts" coming up so much in conversation.
I tolerate his mediocre drunk sex for the mind blowing morning sex. More than worth it.
Learning to live poor pretty well. Cashed in all the coins in my car for nearly 60 bucks and yelled at a Pizza Hut manager, insisting I have a free pizza credit, until he just gave me a pizza.
He has me blocked on facebook.... so I stalked him using my cats fan page.
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