I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
Girl in front of me has spent the class alternating between playing farmville and the tiffany's website looking at engagement rings. Every once in a while she holds her hand up to the screen.
She doesn't deserve the breathe the same air that we do.
She just bought a cow and we've moved on to looking at wedding dresses.
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
idk if ive ever seen a picture of him on facebook with his pants on
he just ordered a side of pineapple and winked at me. too much for a first date. come get me.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
If you hook up with a kid and the next day he breaks up with his girlfriend, those can be seen as two completely unrelated incidents right?!
he told me while inside me and mid thrust that he's dreamed of that moment since high school... awkward
There's a bachlorette party going on at the bowling alley, so we'll see who wins greatest shitshow tonight.
Do you understand how hard it is to go down on a guy underwater? Didn't think so....
I'll truly miss your penis but your use of words and phrases such as bae, yolo, swag, and totes have ruined how attractive you once were.
If you could get me there thatd be perfect. I doubt there's extradition on the moon.
dude, where did you go? french fries taste like numbers
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