I'm wearing a childsize birthday hat and a bib. I am the def of sex appeal rite now
I told him it tasted like his mom..needless to say we were asked to leave.
im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
she said your name and I thought she was asking me to motorboat her. Best. Miscommunication.Ever.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
I cant tell which is worse. That its only my third time doing laundry this year or that its the first time ive done it sober.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was dark, she woke me up, gave me a blowjob and then whispered in my ear: do you know who I am?
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
You said something about how beautiful my pockets were, then walked away.
Yes talking about pockets is classic me.
It happend again, swimming on the floor... Vodka is my friend
I knocked over his glass and he yelled "Oh no the boxed wine!" and slurped it off the coffee table. Then he showed me how to mix maple syrup, Jameson, and coffee. My family is better than your family.
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