I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
I just Googled "how to lose weight but still be an alcoholic."
Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
It's nice to sit in the library and see the progression from freshman pledge to 6th year coke addict all at one table. Gotta love sororities
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Oh if we have sex in public no one will frown upon it. They will stand and cheer for it
I've got a 90 day supply of amoxicillin in case of zombie or chlamydia outbreak
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
I made my uber driver take a pit stop between clubs so we could restock on Xanax. #priorities
Everything is bullshit and I hate everyone
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Good Morning! You are sterile right?
All I know is when I asked you how many fingers I was holding up, you said "Hippo"
I always want to see you. Honestly my only hesitation is that my ass is still kind of sore from Sunday 🥺
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