Did u get laid? I went and bought lube and fleshlighted it while moaning ur name the whole time.
I just want you to know that me val and amanda are drinking on top of a hill lookig at the chicago skyline drinking icehouse and we just peed in public.
No one wears that much makeup to work unless they are trying to fuck their boss, NO ONE
We almost died tonight..we almost die every night. but tonight was the closest by far
I just wanted to hook up with a white guy to prove that i could go back.
I don't know what you're talking about but its dick galore in the tub. We will be getting poked tonight. Bring forks.
You were talking about masturbating on the phone then said you had to go because golden girls was on then you called me back saying you seen that episode already.
I'm sorry you caught us fucking in your bathroom. If it makes you feel any better when I tried to put my pants back on I dropped them in the toilet.
If I ever go to jail it will be because of you, I can feel it.
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
Remember how I made that resolution to remain celibate for 6 months? Well, I just broke that
You literally made that 4 hours ago...
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
He graduated. He’s not my GA anymore. He’s just the 24 year old that’s helping me put a sexless marriage in the rear view mirror by exploring the Kama sutra with me
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