): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
good call on bringing her. it's always good to invite chicks who mix booze and prescription drugs.
We did nothing beneficial to ourselves, or our country last night.
Can I bring home a duck? Dead serious
I'd just like to say before I start drinking tonight that not only do I not find you attractive; I don't want to hook up with you, suck your dick, be your "suga mama" or have your babies. Please disregard any texts, phone calls or voicemails that say otherwise..
I need Jameson.
Yea? How do you think I feel? Your job during the delivery is to keep that flask ready. The moment our kid pops out, I'm taking a shot.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
EVERYTHING IS DISNEY. Even my sexting can lead to Disney.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
We're sitting in the bathtub, eating pizza, doing shots of vvodka and comparing nipples. I havfe never been so comfortable in my life.
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
i just woke up to her giving me a toothy BJ so I had to break into your bedroom and steal about 4 condoms. Sorry for waking you. :(
I'm gonna do it. I'm gonna write gay mortal kombat fanfic. May the gods be praised for whisky
He's bringing a lesbian pretending to be his girlfriend to family Christmas. I can not wait to see how this goes.
yes that’s a photo of a horny gay donkey
Oh I know. I’ve known many horny gay donkeys in my time.
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