i guess. but if i can salvage this and still somehow see you naked i feel like that's a win
Michael Bay is the white Tyler Perry.
I mistook a propane tank for a keg.
does pizza still have the 5 second rule in the bubble bath?
He turned off the music when i walked in and introduced me to everyone. then they gave me jager and made me chug it while holding a giant purple dildo. everything resumed when i finished
Please do us both a favor and come rip my clothes off.
He's such a champ. He puked on purpose just so he'd be coherent enough to roll this blunt
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
So when the drug raid cops tell you, you should get out of the relationship, it probably means its time.
I made it crystal clear I'm only upset because he's not anywhere fit to be a father of my unborn zygote
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
if i don't get grease into my system pronto i will undoubtedly die
Well, I'm most mad that he lied to you (about being married)...but the CAT THING IS A CLOSE SECOND
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
