Dude, she had a vegina. I felt like Indiana Jones cutting a path through the jungle.
somehow in between the body shots the bong hits and trying to convince the 7-11 lady to let me fill up my vodka bottle with cherry slurpee. i misplaced my car.
She said if it slipped out one more time she was going to duct tape it in her vagina
i just watched a special on porn, the business isn't doing so good. You may want to wait before you start your career
Had sex on a washing machine in a pool of beer. Can you say success.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
The fact that you think I have a life is so flattering to me.
If you go to Tinseltown tonight. First bathroom on the left, second stall. Avoid. It's still coming to terms with what I did to it.
On celebration of the Supreme Court ruling I feel it is our patriotic duty to have a threesome
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
At least Shia Labeouf would encourage me to do this drinking contest
Fuck. What bets did I make about "yeah when the Cubs win the World Series" that I gotta reneg on????
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
He's really cute...He stopped talking to me because i pulled my skirt up and peed in a demi plie position...
I definitely almost just pulled a condom out of my purse instead of money for my dad.
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