Do you think "I had sex with my co-worker last night I don't think I can come in today" is a good excuse?
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
i dunno what you eat but your cum is all over my underwear and it smells like pretzels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I got kicked out of a mexican restaurant last night for being too drunk. This is getting dangerously close to rock bottom
Just got into a fight with a trashcan, today is obviously not going to be my day.
He sat next to me, put his arm around me, yelled at his girlfriend that he was breaking up with her, and told me I'm his little pet for the night.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
When I was hooking up with this guy last night all I could think about was if we were in Game of Thrones... I need to stop doing drugs
We were just getting out tux's at men's warehouse he pulled both of the fitting room girls. I dont think he should be getting married
my new years resolution to eat more toast and mastrubate more often is going well so far.
You can be responsible and still be on that ho life
Did I fall last night?
I wouldn't call it falling as much as you tried to lay on the sidewalk and proceeded to hit it face first.
I didn't expect the hobit to have that much sexual tension.
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