My student's should feel privledged to see me tuesday after the amount of alcohol I consumed this weekend.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Note to self not a good idea to try and make out with a girl when she's crying over her boyfriend
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
I was in a house full of lesbians and they were all staring at me. I felt like the last cresent roll on Thanksgiving.
Last night at McDonalds, you lied across the counter, pulled up your shirt and yelled "BODY SHOTS"...
Anyone see the sob who took the piñata?
Please hurry. I'm the only one here who's not an attorney with a trophy wife.
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
My cat just smacked my blunt from my hand and then put her head in my hand. I don't know how to feel
Remember when I made out with that stranger at the bar on my 21 in chicago? I wonder how he's doing
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
i just love the holidays, i hotboxed a gingerbread house last night
I was eating pickles straight from a jar, contemplating doing something productive. What did I miss?
Randomize
