There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
Is it 'vaginas' or 'vaginae?'. Either way there were a shit ton of them.
Nothing gets me like the O.C. theme song does.
Her best guy friend really had a thing for her all along.... Now we're back together and he's gone Dawson's Creek with his away messages.
I told him that he is like a snow storm I never know when he is coming, how many inches I will get, or how long it will last
Dude I think my special talent is falling in drunkenly falling in front of a cop and getting away. This is the second time.
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
Sorry my moustache came off because I was face first in a layered bucket full of jello shots.
For a limited time only, free special muffin with the referral of a loyal dro customer! Have it for breakfast and be happy off your ass all day! Guaranteed! New member must buy at least an eighth. Oh and O's are on sale for 280.
You. Win. At. Life.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
I've friend zoned this boy hard. I made him change my nipple rings before he went home.
I dnt think she needs convincing on the threesome part, it's the threesome with your roommate situation that needs some work
Champagne pong turned into an expensive and painful experience.
It could be worse. I was dumped by a guy in a kilt after he gave my shoes away on St. Patrick's Day.
Reasons why I'm always right: I am older, I am wiser, I have a larger penis
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