that was a gay-test. you passed.
with flying rainbow colors i hope!
I'm cleaning the house. And I can't stop listening to Enrique Iglesias. Am I gay?
I even have the new album if that helps you make a decision.
official worst smell ever. a used condom that has gone through the dryer.
i believe i can now do shots of gasoline with no chaser. its been that kind of summer.
basically theres shrimp everywhere. splattered on the walls, in the carpet, its bad. ohh theyre never gonna get the smell out.
Oh god, so much rum. I think I was in a shotgun wedding with a Bacardi promotion girl.
If I walk in on you beating off, at least have the fucking decency to STOP BEATING OFF!
I have a better chance beating China's military with slap bracelets than this plan has of working.
Fuckin wine wasted last night. Found my pants in the toilet this morning.
Yeah except my drinking partners aka my parents went to sleep Cuz ya know, they're old.
I'm putting my hangover kit in my car for the trip to work tomorrow morning. Dedication
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
When we were having sex last night, I told him I would replace him with tacos
It's just really funny to hear them talk about March for Life when literally every single one of those girls has had an abortion
Being drunk at Chick-fil-A is a dystopian experience
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