yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
it was beautiful and magic like when a hot girl grabs her own tits and smiles at you
I really need to get laid. I'm telling at least 10 girls that I love them tonight.
Odds are at least 1 out of those 10 girls will be as crazy as you and will be into it.
He's sitting in his room on Facebook with nothing but a pillow covering his crotch. I can't help you at the moment.
Gross! What the hell is that?!?
It's quite clearly a man posing erotically with multiple packages of bacon.
I am just saying if Clark Kent walks into your life, you fuck him
He came over in a blaze orange vest with a case of beer and a shotgun yelling about "Dove Season" then passed out in the lawn. There he lies
I think I'm just going to go like every guy on tinder who has a jetski. I'm doing this for us, Summer is coming.
Because bro, I don't want your dick being touched mid conversation.
I punched the bar tender after he cut me off. Hopped over the bar and made my own drink. That's how I got tazed
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Her 4ft mother helped 5ft10 passed out me from the car to my girlfriend's bed at 1am...with whopper in hand
He fucked me for my Netflix login, I fucked him for his HBO login, and actually I think that's beautiful
slept at my ex’s house last night and as i was leaving his brother was sitting there on the sofa and said “bet you regret that one don’t ya”
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
Randomize
