The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
just had a memory of me telling homeless mark that it was the year of the bunny and he said "you da bunny, girl"
I do. There's a bald headed guy whose kinda hot. I might rub his head. I've only had 2 beers
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
How many people can say they've shit on the floor of a five star hotel?
I didnt realize how badly my legs were scratched up from power-fucking him in the bushes until kate dumped a bottle of vodka on me. that shit burnedddd
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
I'm sensing a Yuletide blow job in your future and by future I mean tomorrow
Making cookies for neighbors. Spill beer all over dough. Bake anyways. From good neighbors back to the shitty college kids next door in under 3 seconds.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
The girl who comes up after me always strips to Lana Del Rey. I didn't think working in a strip club could be any more depressing.
in a meeting in my bathtub while predrinkin for tonight. technology.
My desire to pee is a lot higher than my need to be buzzed right now.
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