Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
Haha so apparently that girl last thought I was you the whole time, and in the morning realized you weren't the one she fucked. Thanks for your help.
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
He was in me and said I can't believe this happened because of facebook. MOOD KILLER.
You kept tellin the cashier that this order was "To Go" over and over...even tho we were in the drive-thru
i swear, about 40% of my drunken life is spent having sex with him.
I feel like someone had their period in my eyes.
I'm sorry I got a little outta control last night.
How is it that you get into at least one taco related fight a year?
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
Seriously I am not buying you condoms anymore. You're 22, if you aren't woman enough to buy them yourself then you don't deserve orgasms. Grow some tits.
I just wanted to check in on you and you replied with a selfie with your Coney Island waiter and the caption "after his shift we're dropping acid together"
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
Found this cake smashed up inside a box on the sidewalk. Im saying yes to adventure and eating some.
Taking a nap. Sidewalk cake kicked my ass. It had boston creme filling!
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