he was like Britney Spears in bed.. a little chubby and too medicated to perform.
you didnt remember my name all night. you kept referring to me as "the blonde with the fat ass"
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
I'm watching intervention which is getting me psyched for your birthday. Is that wrong?
I'm 99% sure the Indians were high for thanksgiving and we should respect that by getting high too
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
whoa whoa whoa, you're saying I shouldn't post pics of you balls deep in a southern hottie?
Hey sorry if you felt me holding your hand in the middle of the night I was actually just checking you had a pulse
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
i almost got into an argument defending my life choices with a guinea pig eating chocolate cake at 4am
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
the raccoons are back...
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