I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
I told you I would drunk text you sometime........its that time.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
Stop making all the ice cubes only big enough to fit in your bong. It takes like 3 trays for a glass of ice water
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
she did 8 shots of vodka. THROUGH A SIPPY STRAW
I have got to meet this girl.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
There are panties and mini bottles of Fireball in my purse. Except for the broken toe incident, I'd say last night was probably a success.
When everyone ask you tomorrow go ahead and tell them I'm the girl that fell of safe ride and was all bloody.
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
This guy has a theme song for the joints he rolls
I thought it was pretty weird, but after the marinating loins thing, i figured i'd roll with it.
What a better way to celebrate that I'm single by becoming a stripper and making $1000 in one night
I’m not spending 14 dollars on a margarita unless it’s rimmed with cocaine... actually do you have a blender?
Grabbed the cop's ass and he still arrested Heather instead. Victory is mine!!
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