i didnt like the question options for my yahoo account..so i made up the question and it was "favorite bathroom to shit in"
My co-worker just asked me if i colored my hair. Time to take a shower.
No. one of us needs a degree and I am already the alcoholic friend. I can't do everything
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
hey, do you know how many packets of jello it takes to turn a handle of vodka into slutty girls?
It's sad that the best source of heat that I have is my vaporizer.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
listening to happy ending by mika while imagining him to run after me at an aiport in slow motion... also, dipping oreos in baileys. not taking this breakup well. at. all.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
guy in front of me at the pharmacy just asked the pharmacist for 2 Plan B's and replied with, "If your wondering, then yes I did have a threesome. It was amazing".
No, listening to the fray and drinking a bottle of jack daniels does not count as counseling
Dude, the coffee is horrible this morning, Cass changed something about it
We ran out of Bailey's Irish cream...
This is what regular coffee tastes like?!?! Fuck the adult life.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
I've seriously never been more thankful for marijuana and my resting bitchface.
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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