super hot butfun
Oops. What a difference a comma and a space make.
yo dude i was totally schwabbin last night.
what does that even mean?
you ever see those charles schwabb commercials, where the people are like half cartoon half real.... well yeah i saw that in real life.
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Add "its too hot" to reasons why I don't get fucked anymore
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Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Girl, that was the lost night of 2012 for me and I have buried that night deep deep away..
I feel like you guys are talking about real things and have real problems and I'm just over here like 'should I take muscle relaxers or get drunk tonight?'
I convinced every single one of my cousins to bring me a glass of wine. I was the alcoholic queen and they were my subjects.
If you loved me you'd bring cheese fries and a condom
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DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
Sneaking the vodka in was the easy part.. listening to medley of puking in the porta pottys was not
Just reintroduced tequila back into my life...so that's happening
YAS SHES BACK AND BETTER THAN EVER
Every time I start to trust vodka, it does this to me.
I got a free corona t-shirt and all I had to do was drink a beer. This needs to be a more widely accepted form of currency.
Finding my pants in the morning should not make me this proud
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