Uggggg i want to leave and get bombed over baghdad
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Nah it's cool, I made him pinky promise me he wouldn't die if I left him passed out in the bathroom.
She refered to her bed as the "cockpit"....I understand that this morning.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
we are watching a video on ethics because somebody wrote "butt sex" on the attendance sign in sheet
What's the proper amount of time to avoid my 76 year old neighbor that caught me with my pants down, peeing in my driveway at 5am?
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
Maybe I'll make your dreams come true and pee on you tomorrow.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
We just took an Eskimo family picture.. It's pretty cute honestly
I'm having a funeral for my vibrator. Please be there. I need your dick for support.
I just left and he walked me out and went call me if you're ever... Eh... Whatever. And walked away.
The coke machine at work is laughing at me. Literally. I just heard laughter from the coke machine
Randomize
