it was nice. we just kind of hung out. she didnt even mention the farting incident.
I told you it's awful. It looks like he was eating honey at a barbershop and tripped.
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
still in the ER. she tried to shotgun a bottle of corona
I woke up to a shot of jager next to my face. I felt bad for it so i drank it
I heard that clinking noise from behind me and I already knew you were whipping out a Smirnoff in class. Again.
First sunburned tits of the season. And it's only April... I feel like it's going to be a good summer.
One day i'll wow you with artfully trimmed pubes.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
So, were you planning on telling me you left your panties in my glovebox??
I just texted him from the other room to come have sex with me-stress relieved
You are such a millennial
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
i wish i could put you in a lil box, and keep you for when i need to be blown
So, is Canada considered an excessive distance to go for a booty call? Asking for a friend...
Randomize
