There's just this way he looks at me that makes me want to suck his soul out through his dick.
She solidified the fact that the icon from Wendy's is the only ginger I care for
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
He only dropped the Russian accent after we started having sex.
I just found our entire wall-to-wall from September 2006 printed out and clipped... it's 49 pages. Blackout me is so considerate of bored-at-work me
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
If you sleep with another manager before the year is up you'll deserve an accomplishment sticker.
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
THERE IS A BABY THAT ISN'T MINE THAT'S GOING TO HEAR ME BEING SEXED!
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I'd give anything to be driving a pirate ship wearing nothing but a coconut bra and a grass skirt eating a pizza and watching dolphins jump in the waves. Dreams ya gotta have dreams
Had a dream I was doing scat with Caroline. I need to lay off the cheese at night
She was wearing a grass skirt and a watermelon bra. WATERMELONS.
OMG I accidentally abducted a cat. Now there is a cat in my apartment. I NEED TO UNDO WHAT I HAVE DONE
bonus check + party bus = big hot mess
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