I think tequila should come with a little jiminy cricket
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
last night was the icing on my 3 week vodka binge cake
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
He was standing in the front door with a kareoke machine yelling at the neighbors as the unloaded their van
Where are you and who are these girls passed out on the floor?
and why are they spooning a flamingo?
they traded weed for a spot on our floor. be nice.
Just woke up bloody and clutching a rear view mirror I'm pretty sure is from my car. For those of you keeping score at home this is why I stopped drinking four loko.
We're attempting to get a tally of how may people puked last night...Please respond with your vomit status.
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
PLEASE. I won't throw up on the floor this time. Or fuck in the bathroom. Or dance on the pool table. So PLEASE.
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
I get off at 11. but they've been letting me go early cuz I've been crying a lot
YOU WAXED MY CAT YOU SICK FUCK
Clearly the Stanley Cup Finals good luck hand job IS necessary. You let the whole team down.
Randomize
