yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
I think I'm pregnant with his hipster baby. It keeps kicking my stomach to the beat of mgmt songs.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
U should feel bad.. u r like a sex politician. All talk and no follow thru
Whatever, I used my iphone to send an Escalade to pick up a booty call last week. For free. It is futuristic as fuck out here.
I need to shower three times. First to be clean, second to wash off all sins, and third will classify as baptism.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
The cat was building a spaceship out of the carpet, my legs were cans of tomato sauce, and there was something else in that pot you gave me.
I think I need practice at oral sex
I own a practice facility.
Can I say it was a great night out of town? Fucking my co-worker in the hotel bed while my best friend is fucking his friend on the floor and a random guy is laying in the other bed meanwhile we are all passing a joint back and forth
Randomize
