At a sweet 16. cant remember what shirt im wearing byt dnt worry im not sleeping w/ the guy who serves the chicken nuggets again
Yeah, getting the HI-fiVe would really put a damper on my whoring around.
vicodin is the reason why I believe in magic
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
I'm just trying to jam my tits into some coconuts and I'll be on my way
Please come fuck me. I had the worst sex of my life the other night and I need to be reminded that sex is actually enjoyable
One of those nights had to have been when we tried to walk through the McDonald's drive through -- and then got in the car with complete strangers. And stole their hamburgers.
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
Dude, you need to man up. You passed out before a PRESEASON game. It's a long season.
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
Randomize
