Just tried to tap morse code on the wall seperating our beds to tell you I was awake and ready to smoke
I swear to god I'm going to hunt down and stab the next telemarketer that calls from a blocked number while I'm waiting for my STD results...
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
I mean I like that it's warm enough to open the windows, but it annoys me that I can't walk around naked anymore.
I just saved him in my contacts as "Has 2 kids.. don't drunk text"
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
I've never seen a grown man cry so much after getting jerked off by a stripper. I say it's the best $600 he ever spent.
She literally just changed his birthday. Overly attached girlfriend has nothing on her.
I'm sad we weren't friends when I went through my "I like drugging my friends" phase
Some cougar Brit said she loved me. America is bouncing back.
I think I may have just taught my whole hall how to give a good blow job. So this is college.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
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