Another weekend, another 3 guys I have to awkwardly avoid while crossing campus...
I think I should just go up to him and say, "before I invest time in this could I just take a look at your penis?"
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
I'm not drunk enough to eat silly string
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
All I want in life is to get high, take a shower, and him to go down on me. Simultaneously. That's legit my idea of heaven.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
University has ruined us all. I just had to clarify the last time I had sex as "No, not at the party we crawled home from in the snow. It was the one where you puked off the balcony and hit the barbecue."
I actually want to work out for some reason... I think it's my brains way of telling me it doesn't like living in a fat body.
He made me twerk for scrambled eggs... I regret nothing
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I JUST LIKE FLANNEL, NOT VAGINAS! OK?
I'm going to invent an ap that tests your stress levels before texting and will say something like "nope, go rub one out and try again in 10 min"
He couldn't give me an orgasm, but he did give me a UTI.
Randomize