There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
in the middle of sex he stopped to tell me that he loved me... then slapped my ass and told me "back to business"... im gonna marry him
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
we were holding hands throwing up into the same garbage can; if thats not true love i dont know what is .
She said I had the biggest dick she'd ever seen. And when you consider how many she's come in contact with, it's kind of like winning the heisman.
His best friend walked in while we were banging, turned on the light, yelled BURN, grabbed his computer to play the Thunderstruck drinking game, turned off the light and left.
Just found out my ex boss was running a whore house in the bar. Time to remove her as a reference?
I have officially made out with every girl you've made out with, even the random you met on the Mexico flight
They have 12 kegs and 40 bottles of liquor and a pool with a diving board. And hardly anyone at this wedding knows me. Should be a great night
Cause its not a drunken adventure unless someone ends up in a pool
I'M SO WET FOR FREEDOM
No gay bar. My eyemake up looks like sex and Im using these dick daggers of mine tonight.
I told her I was dressed as a gag reflex judge.....she won, literally hands down.
I believe in your delicious
i made out with his shirt. MDMA, man.
Randomize
