he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
I showed him my bush... on skype.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Oh we will ALWAYS be together. Or I'll have to delete my Facebook altogether. I've drunkenly boobie trapped photos of us into every album. There's no way I'd ever have the patience to go through that deletion process.
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
So in Aca Taco on grad night 1am, this bitch walks in alone drunk as fuck in her gown to the front of the line and says, "I graduated today...thank YOU"
Guess who just got caught by mall security having sex in a car in the parking lot... at noon. This chick.
We were destined to go to rehab together
But for real, I had the best sex of my life on that bunk bed
Made a pinky promise to a lesbian on crack in WeHo. No one knows what I promised
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
How do you get the "hangs out with drunk assholes" insurance
now acid just makes me think of crab ragoon
I just ate broccoli before drinking. Does that make me a responsible adult?
She called a 10 year old handsome and we gave her a look that was equal parts confused and “what the hell is wrong with you”
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