the sex was like sticking it in a jar of mayonnaise
The guy I fucked in the port a poty just called me and asked me on a date!
Awkward!
No he was cute and I said yes!
just had sex with a midget and didnt wrap it... were totally gonna have a tv show :)
I didn't exactley write on my bucket list -- "hook up with a townie at a drivers intervention program"
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
Man, jail baloney is awful.
I am a human short and spout . Here is my jager Herr is my redbull . When i get real drink i shout out. Tip me over and pour yeager out
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
This guy either needs to stop touching me or buy me another drink.
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
Well I'm half drunk in a green tutu at a chipotle. So pretty good parade.
well it was naive of you to actually think you're the only bday sex he had lined up for him today. I'm just suprised he actually had a line forming outside of his room
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
We kicked down a door together last night, pretty sure that qualifies us as best friends.
That moment when you’re at the doctor to give a sperm sample you’re only getting 3G so the porn is buffering
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