i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
got in a fight at the bar because some dude thought i was being sarcastic when i told him "sweet mustache". it really was a sweet mustache
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
he ate out my asshole, i really don't think he gets embarrassed easily.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
And I just had to awkwardly tell 3 police officers that I was having sex and not in any trouble
Walking through campus with a grocery bag full of pot brownies. I'm like the santa claus of 4/20
I just told him he had gained a new brother. He immediately knew I meant the eskimo kind.
Everyone here knows my boyfriend as "Half Baked". Life, he's doing it right.
I just had to beg some random guy to help me climb through your porch window since the door was locked. FYI...i hear you having sex in there. You could of at least taken a break to unlock the damn door. WTF!!!
After what I experienced at 6am this morning, all I can say is chew your noodles thoroughly.
You're even getting laid in my dreams, god I'm a good wingman
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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