it felt great physically, but AWFUL morally.
JACOB AND UGLY BROKE UP
two drunk chicks are talking to me about reinacting 2girls1cup
ill bring the camera dont start without me
The only good thing about ohio is that i can get 2 half gallons of soco for 40 bucks
Hairspray is covering 85% of my body. Help.
Wait until you see the roof.
At this point I feel like i'm never going to be sober, and it's frightening
I don't know how, but he made a bong out of a hamster wheel. To say I am impressed is an understatement.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I came back to consciousness and found myself sitting in a beanbag chair petting a 2 month old husky with one hand and eating an oreo Klondike bar with the other. This almost makes me forgive blackout lisa for making out with that chubbs at the xmas party
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
It was going great until he started saying "ooh kill em" under his breath with each thrust
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
You know you suck at relationships when you are sitting in the airport on Christmas day, alone, swiping on Tinder.
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
Fun fact: deep throating plus dehydration plus eating a lot of citrus = my throat is fucked. Metaphorically and physically.
Randomize
