just saw Chris Hanson on the street. looked immediately around for video cameras. why is that my immediate reaction?
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
okay im going to go eat, shower and find underwear... call if you want.... but ill be listenig to glee VERY loudly.
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I had fun this weekend too. According to Web MD, my symptoms say I had a miscarriage.
there are chunks of pepperoni under the sheets. can you be here in 10? breakfast in bed?
there are people swimming in the fountain next to the library... hello senior week
She sent me a map and directions for a booty call. In a park. Give me reason not to marry her.
I may or may not be negotiating a deal of baked goods for socks...keep you posted
I shaved last nite, you should see my cock it looks like a beautiful skyscraper
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
Giiiirl. Just had a BM that almost killed me.
Apparently she almost had an affair at Outback Steakhouse, details to follow when I get home but the apple really doesn't fall far from the tree
It's a combination of amazing uncoordination, bad luck, and sheer determination to cause destruction wherever I go.
this is the 3rd time this week I've gone to the liquor store to stock up for the next 2 weeks
Randomize
