even my worst enemy doesn't deserve a bush like that
I got my period while he was fingering me , I knew it because I never get that wet.
Did u at least say sorry?
man, work is way more interesting with these acid flashbacks.
Walk of Shame today included voting.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
Random girl at this party just gave me a lap dance in a la-Z-boy. Night significantly improved.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Was having the best sex dream I've had in a while and only woke up when I heard my grandma fall down the stairs.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
Holy shit I'm 26! That took an embarrassingly long time to figure it out, I need to keep buyin weed from this kid
Im not sure if the cops that just came are strippers or actually cops
Drunk is not a location!
Randomize
