he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I need you to promise me that the first one to find out our kids smoke weed, takes the weed so we can smoke it ourselves
I gave myself a pep talk in the library bathroom mirror. and then threw up in the sink.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
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You should seriously consider super glueing your knees together
The power of my vagina can withstand any attempt of celibacy
Currently emptying half-full wine bottles from fridge into my mouth and refilling with water for later. Drunk survivalist recycling!
Then that means he's outwardly conservative. Inwardly he's a total gay horndog. He's like a spy that can ruin conservative plans.
I want to change all my life goals to that.
I wish I could take a screenshot of how things literally look from my eyeballs right now
this weekend took five years off my life and what was left of my dignity
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You act like tequila is some sort of sex juice
Welp. It's confirmed. There is literally no lube on this entire island. Fuck me. More accurately, don't fuck me.
Oh yeah, it was definitely the best sex of my life, I just don't think I can fix the kitchen table before my parents get back...
Welp, no use in crying over spilt milk. I can't unbang her.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
I wore my old cheerleading uniform.. He came before I even touched his dick. Should I be irritated, or flattered?
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