sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
remember what we learned. dont lure girls w/ food at the bar. u dont want those ones
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
They're sharing a mixed drink at a bar with straws...its like a disney movie with booze
You were absolutely insistent that the entire bar knew that it was peanut butter jelly time
Its not christmas eve unless I give him head. I wont take no for an answer
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
She just took a mirror selfie at the hospital while in labor.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
I have a third degree burn on my inner thigh from the blunt dropping on me in the car
He dropped some cash when he got in my front seat upside down. And a hat. I'm keeping them as retribution for not remembering that he had sex with me once before. Although, if he didn't have his dick pierced, I wouldn't have remembered either.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
i am risking my non lesbian vagina for your needs. i better be the best friend you ever had
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