I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
im going to forcibly insert an angry corn snake into his urethra
Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
do you think my med school application would be worse off if "I like helping others and shit" slipped into an essay I emailed last night?
Jumanji is 1000% better stoned while cooking breakfast.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
And my nipple is sore from him biting it. That is not a complaint.
He sent me a snapchat of him singing wrecking ball. Guess what the wrecking ball was. Hint: he literally came.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
I'll pass on that plan. The lack of my penis in new vaginas is no where on the itinerary.
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
I don't give a fuck that he's gay and keeps hitting on me. Free cocaine is free cocaine bro
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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