tell your sister to shave her snatch
adderall just fell out of my nose in class. guy next to me just nodded.
I wish we never smoked. I'm literally laying in bed opening and closing my eyes, just hoping a hot dog stand will appear in the room.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
All I remember from last night is petting the broom with my feet and feeling like I was standing on a horses head
Are we still banned from the library?
I woke up five hours later with a mouthful of Jimmy John's while clinging to my sandwich.
Just spent the equivalent of my life savings in the liquor store. This is going to be a good weekend
No, they seem attractive after SIX beers, after three they're just the gender you're looking for.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
OH MY GOD did i pee on you?!
I love how fuckboys immediately become cultured when I tell them I’m an artist.
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