If you liked it then you shoulda put your dick in it, oh uh uh oh
This house was built for laser tag.
i had to apologize to my friends for being friends with me
If I have to go to the hospital can we stop by the liquor store on the way?
He's blaming gravity for his problems right now, so put that in perspective
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
I feel a bullet train of disappointment headed in your direction.
How could you give up sex for lent? I gave up religion for lent years ago and never looked back. Or give up civility, not sex.
well, the two that sent pics I've already been with, so at least its not just BAM HERE'S MY PENIS IN YOUR INBOX ENJOY THOSE MEGAPIXELS
She kept throwing quarters at him and yelling "Goooaaallll!!" whilst taking her clothes off one by one. I'd say she had a good night
A little, yeah. We were stealing firewood from the neighbors (drunk), and figured it would be 10 times harder to be angry with us if we got caught if we were naked, and 100% more hilarious.
So for St Paddys day I colored my junk green and got a little hat for him....wanna see it before I sober up....
You brought string cheese to the strip club
I definitely don't have enough experience with hookers to be in this group text anymore.
They kept freaking out that you were missing and potentially having sex.. like it was a bad thing. Got fed up with hearing it so i just yelled "ITS HER BIRTHDAY AND SHE CAN FUCK IF SHE WANTS TO!" They gave me unnecessary looks. I thought it was acceptable.
Randomize
