i have accomplished my summer goal of being able to relate to every taylor swift song
Now I'm watching The History of Sex on the History Channel. They're talking about how repressed the 30s were. I think I understand why grandma is such an angry person.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
Eating Doritos is not nearly as enjoyable when I'm not drunkenly feeding them to peacocks.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hell no. last time, i couldn't pee straight for a week.
This is why i like single justin better. my only regret is not being present for more of his short life. may he rest in peace
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
He's a psychology major, so instead of becoming a stripper, I'm just working out my daddy issues with him. And his cock. And spankings.
They're much more educational now btw. Don't judge.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
And then you refused to pee in anything but a sink
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I asked to see his balls for medical purposes.
skipped tacos for a blowjob. No tacos. No blowjob. More importantly...no tacos. Wtf?
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
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