It's a beautiful day for a hangover
you tried to tell me that ice cream had no calories because they were "frozen"
she was so wasted that she tried to tuck me in and read the jokes on the taco bell sauce as a bed time story
I saw your arrest video on youtube. you look so thin!
You were making dinosaur noises while jerking me off..
she scratched her sororities letters into my back when she was done. i think i was part of some sick game. sick twisted sexy game
The fact that I'm going to be living with you is starting to make me worry about my heatlh.
Ya that ship has sailed dude
No he's here. We were watching Harry Potter stoned as shit and he fell asleep with his head in my lap. I'll figure out what to do with him after Harry gives Dobby the sock.
don't worry i won't let him get attached. I put on my Hulk onesie after sex and yelled I SMASHED YOU. never seen a guy looked so confused.
Why is the clock ticking so loud? Now I know how Captain Hook feels.
He awkwardly handed me plan b on Pickens Street... it was like a sketchy drug deal.
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
It was a good hour of moans, penis compliments, smacks, and what sounded like someone running in flip flops
THAT HOSPITAL MADE ME REALIZE THAT I'M BISEXUAL
Randomize
