Your parents are going to be so confused in the morning
More like pissed. but ill be sure to explain my pathological fear of terrorists hiding in the bathtub
I wish i could be there for it
we need to get ahold of those "sexting" teens on tyra. HAWT!
wasnt one 13?
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
i suspect the closest i'll get to a valentine this year is a 16 year old on chat roulette asking me to show my tits. step up from last year, i guess.
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
Whenever you feel bad about your life, just remember the time I tried to swim while high and thought for a minute I was genuinely drowning
My bruised ribs were so worth that win in beer pong
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
Dude this deaf chick is totally hot, I just bought an apartment on boner ave
Is it bad I'm drunk at orientation
You've been there for 12 hours, what are you supposed to be doing
Not be drunk
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
Taking one of the loudest shits ever at work and I have to say...I'm having a better time than I thought I would
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
Randomize
