bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
there should be a national holiday dedicated to how high i am
You burnt your salmon and tried to mail it. Post marked to: Starving Kid in Africa
She is wearing lilly and pearls while drinking natty from a monogrammed coozie. If that isn't a sorosititue I don't know what is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
i had to write a bad check to buy franzia last weekend. i have my priorities in line.
she demanded that I make her breakfast too so im in the bathroom cooking bacon with her straightener
Apparently getting a blow job in the mens room from the bar owners daughter will get you kicked out.
My dad found me naked curled up under a towel on the couch with a fucking tub of butter and a spoon. Ambien Mondays are dead
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
If u ever apologize to me for "too-rough" sex again I will suspend ur all-access pass to my vagina indefinitely
Why am I cleaning the house twerking to anaconda wearing a bears jersey and helmet?
A party without a piñata is not a party I want to attend.
His idea of a night out is drinking beer in the driveway. He's been on house arrest too long
If you come home to me in lingerie and you start vacuuming...I need to reevaluate my priorities
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