He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you know you were refereeing rock paper scissors for who got to make out with your sister right?
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
I save people's lives for a living, but I want to ruin his marriage.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sign #1 that I'm not ready to be a mother: I'm shopping for "maternity fishnets".
I might never shower again without beer.. I might also always drink naked
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
There was a bottle of vodka and chips in a vase next to the bed
I mean turning down birthday sex is never the answer
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My neighbour is taking her hamster for a walk on a leash. Come over now
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
How did I pull off convincing everyone that my name is Dad? Maybe they were just distracted by my boobs.
why is "bang the student affairs grad assistant" the third highest thing on your semester goals list
When you can't finish your jumbo margarita and figure pouring it into a to go box will suffice... Midnight snack?
He went down on me and then made me breakfast in bed. He's a man you can bring home to mom.
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